Yep. That happened. My kiddo said his first “real” cuss word. I think every parent is caught off guard by that, maybe like when your first kiddo loses his first tooth? If you missed the story, you can check it out here. The “first cuss word” was actually a great parenting moment in our home, but it also made me realize that we need to revisit the fact that our words are so important.
My kids need to realize that the words they say, meaningful or not, are forever out there building people up or tearing people down. The words we say are remembered by others way beyond the days they were spoken. So to make a visual point, this is what we did.
I grabbed a match and lit it in the house. My kids are now giving me their full attention! My question to them was this: What bad things can fire do? They provided all the appropriate answers (forest fires etc.), and then the match went out. My second question to them was this: What good can fire do? They too gave all the right responses (heat, light energy, etc.)
So they get it.
We talked about the fact that it’s crazy a fire can do such good things, and yet also be so destructive, just like the tongue. Our words can build people up, show them love and kindness, or it can hurt them and cause them pain, just like the bible tells us in James chapter 3. “But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body.”
Then we did another example, this time with toothpaste. Each of my three got a paper plate and the cheapest tube of toothpaste that I could find. I asked them to get all of the toothpaste out onto the paper plate. They thought that was super fun. When the tubes were all empty, I asked them to put all of the toothpaste then back in the tubes. They looked at me like I was crazy! One of them tried really hard. 🙂 But once the toothpaste is out, there is no putting that stuff back in there. Just like our words.
My five-year-old said it clearly, “When I say anything, my words are gone. I can’t take them back. It’s just like that toothpaste.”
They understood that. So now we get it and can be held accountable to it. But, James 3 also says this, “People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue.”
So although we now understand it, we will still have to work on it… forever. Me included. But the great thing about this lesson is there is now a visual behind it. When we are headed down the path of inappropriate or careless language, I can remind them about the toothpaste and the fire, and they will understand the consequences. It’s just a little thing, but maybe it will make them speak more carefully and a little more kindly.
