I have no words.
We went on a little RV trip to disconnect for a bit and came home Sunday evening to an exceptionally quiet Omaha. Everything was closed. We cleaned the RV out and returned it that same evening. There were no cars on the busy streets, no grocery stores open, or people outside in their yards.
I assumed that the coronavirus numbers were up causing Omaha to go into another little shut-down, so I checked the news for the first time in several days to find out that my midwestern city was in a curfew. A curfew due to riots responding to the death of a 22-year-old black man during a protest. A curfew because humanity failed. We failed each other.
Yesterday, I just cried. I ached. I still cannot put thoughts into words because I can’t wrap my head around the hurt. I weep for my friends who are of color, who have lived with racism their entire life in suburban Omaha, and I have barely acknowledged it. I weep for my friends who have adopted black children because their hearts are aching. They are in a new territory of fear and anger. I weep because I know that the God I serve is weeping over his children. All of his children. The ones that are being harmed and the ones that are doing them harm.
I have no words.
I have seen beautiful posts from different backgrounds of people saying that we need to stand together, speak together, rise up together on racism, and their posts are met with disdain. Lysa Terkeurst posted a picture of herself with her beautiful black grandchildren with a love note to them, and it was responded to in hate.
This is hard. I don’t exactly know what to do or how to help. That is an overwhelming feeling to me. I feel inadequate as a white girl of privilege to even respond to what is going on and yet not responding is wrong. So as I fumble with my scattered thoughts, lack of words, and so many emotions, I will share what I will do to make even a little difference.
- I will teach my children about racism and give them space to have thoughtful conversations about it.
- We will memorize and live out the verse from 1 Peter 3:8 “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”
- I will check in on my black friends and see what I can do to be more aware, more helpful, and more knowledgeable about the things going on in their lives.
- I will not assume anything about racism or what people experience but will fight to learn.
- I will choose to be real rather than right, knowing that there is so much that I don’t know.
- I will search out my own heart and see what I hold that needs to be brought into the light.
- We will continue to pray. To pray for people we know and don’t know that they would know the love of Jesus.
- I will continue to pray that I have a heart that sees what Jesus sees and that I would be burdened by the things that burden Him.
I do not have the words. But, I can have the right actions.
HLLF –
