“Mom, when I grow up, I want to be just like you.”
Gulp.
That is what my little Ella told me. At first, that line was super cute and flattering and then… what a reality. I want her to be so much more than… well… me! I want her to take the best of what I can give, but the rest of it… oh sweet girl, be so much better.
We are our kids’ first mentors and heroes. They mimic what we do and hold on to the truths, guidance, and instruction we share with them. We have a very short season of coaching our kids and then BLINK; they are on their own. I am sure you have heard the phrase, “We only have 18 summers.” Well, we just passed another one. Ugh!
So with that short of time, let’s make the most of it.
My sweet friend and neighbor frequently brings over her culinary masterpieces and fun garden produce to me. A few weeks ago, her little three-year-old daughter knocked at my back door with a gallon-sized ziplock bag proudly in her hand. It contained a few grapes and peanut butter filled pretzels. I immediately could tell that it was not from my adult friend, but a little girl who wanted to be just like her momma, so she did what she saw her momma do. She shared her creation with her neighbor. It was beautiful.
I have asked myself the following questions, and I encourage you should do the same.
1. What am I doing now that I want my kids to copy and never let go of?
2. What are the things that I need to change to avoid a generation of repetition?
Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write out all of the things that you want your children to take into adulthood. On the right, write everything that you do that you don’t want to be continued. A few examples might be…
LEFT SIDE:
You’re strong. You might not feel it all the time, but you are.
Other people’s opinions don’t define you.
Be kind to everyone. You don’t know anyone’s situation.
Know your beauty radiates from the inside.
Don’t settle.
Know Jesus. Walk with Him.
RIGHT SIDE:
I allow fear to dictate my choices.
I live with too much anxiety.
I am impatient and yell at my kids too much.
You get the idea. Then make a conscious effort to focus more on the left column and practical ways you can teach those things to your children and when you look at the right side, concentrate on discontinuing the behaviors you don’t like.
As adults, change is hard, but, when you have big eyes staring right up at you, it’s time to step up and make a difference in your life so that you can make a difference in theirs.
Be the person that you want your child to emulate. Will you sometimes fail? Oh yes. My kids see me do that all the time. They see the humanity in me. But, will I try to be someone that my kids desire to grow up to be like? All the time.
You need to know that you can be precisely the hero they already think you are. See yourself that way too. HLLF – Melissa
