I had given up making coffee when my kids were little because someone would jump on me and it would spill, or it would get cold while I tended to other things. So in an effort to not be frustrated, I stopped. I decided coffee was for people whose kids were older.
Last night as I looked at the four sets of eyes who still needed to be put to bed, I made myself a cup for survival purposes. As I read to them, over and over my bouncing kids spilled lukewarm coffee onto my leggings. I tucked them into bed, legs soaked in coffee, and thought, “We just aren’t there yet.”
I think that’s the way a lot of us are feeling at this time in quarantine. We are still home, it doesn’t feel as desperate, but we still need to be wise. The newness of togetherness is wearing thin, but we would want to use the time well. Emails about sports starting and stores reopening place hope on the horizon, but our emotions are pulled to and fro. It’s like we are holding a cup of normalcy but it just keeps spilling in our laps.
So maybe we don’t pour the coffee. We just aren’t there yet.
Here are some thoughts to keep us from getting burned while we wait:
- Don’t get caught up in what is to come.
- I’ve heard a lot of worry about what’s coming up and not wanting to reenter. I’ve found it helpful to flip back my calendar when my heart is anxious and look at all of the things we got to miss. Yes, there were sad things, but there was also a lot of clutter we didn’t have to attend. It settles my heart, allowing me to be grateful for the pause.
- Consider what could go.
- As you look at reentry, if you aren’t ready, it’s okay to choose not to reenter just yet. What could your life do without?
- Choose to like your people.
- We’ve got some more time. Don’t let yourself go to the place of, “My kids are so annoying!” or “Why is my husband doing this?” Write down what you have seen in your kids that you love or what you appreciate about your husband. Choose to see the good and you will see more of it. Unfortunately, if you start to notice what’s annoying…you will see more of that too, and there is too much togetherness ahead to be annoyed.
- Accept that we don’t know.
- As plans are made, approach them with a “maybe.” Jerseys are being dropped off and schedules discussed. We don’t actually know how this is going to roll out, so yes, take the schedule and tuck it into your calendar. I’m not going to set my kids up to be disappointed, so our conversation will consist of a lot of “if’s” – “If we play, this is what your jersey would look like.” Choose not to set your hope on what is uncertain. We just aren’t there yet.
- Choose better than conspiracy.
- We will likely know where this all started once the research has been done. Someone is going to write a book about it. In the meantime, following down the rabbit holes of “what if’s” is just a waste of time.
- Do the best with what you do know.
- What I do know is that it’s been fun to ride bikes with our kids. So we are not going to hope for what July looks like, but we will do the best with the fact that the weather is beautiful today. We’ll pick a place a few miles away and figure out if we can get there on our bikes. Those have been our kinds of adventures this week. I don’t know about July, but I do know about thirty mins from now, and we can do that.
We just aren’t there yet. But we are getting closer every day. Let’s choose to see the good, to hold loosely to our plans and promises, and do the best with what we have, one step at a time.
HLLF,
