It’s the holidays, and you know, sometimes it’s not all sugar plum fairies and frosting. So what can you do when people are mean? You get to choose how you react and what you will do with the mess. There is freedom in realizing that you have a choice. Give this a try..
Say it out loud.
Tell a safe person, someone who knows that it may come out a little stronger than how you actually meant it, and when you take some of the things back, will give you the grace of, “I know.”
Recognize that your safe person is not your child. So say the things, but don’t say them in front of your kids. They may not be emotionally mature enough, nor do they have the life experience, to understand. Try saying, “My feelings are hurt, and I’m sorting things out.” If they ask more questions, say, “I’m asking God to help me work this out, and I know He will.”
Give it time.
Give yourself some time to reconcile what is actually happening before you respond to the offenders. It doesn’t need to happen right then, and it may not need to happen at all.
Ask for forgiveness.
You may not need to apologize to the offenders, but you may need to apologize to your safe person. If you need to apologize, do it sooner than later.
Ask God about it.
Ask Him what to do, how to proceed.
Consider how you contributed to the situation.
Are there things you could have done better?
What would you do differently next time?
Choose your way forward.
After things have cooled off, make a plan.
Review the plan.
Is there any part of it that is vengeful, coming from a place of angst, or just wanting to get someone back? Does any of it reflect a person you don’t want to be?
Amend the plan.
Live it.
Until something else causes you to need to make some changes. Then choose to begin again.
We can’t always choose our circumstances, but we can always choose how we react. We can choose who we want to be in the situation and when we choose well, we choose to live free.
HLLF,
