Does your home turn into a madhouse between the hours of 4 and 6 pm? When my kids were little, I heard some people refer to it as the witching hour, but for those of you who have small kids, I’m just saying this has not improved for us as the kids have gotten older. I don’t know what happens in my children’s bodies, but everyone has the most important story of their lives to tell, wants to play with us all at once, and dinner…yes, that needs to happen too.
Last month I went to a Policy Circle meeting with my cousin, and at the event, a literal timer was passed around so each person had time to speak on the topic. The timers balanced the conversation, giving those who usually wouldn’t say anything the floor while allowing others who fight for the floor a time when they knew they could talk.
It was orderly and proper, and if 1% of that order could rub off on my household, it would be a win, so I ordered some simple timers ranging in length of time…the kind with actual sand that falls out. It has been working so well. At dinner, we are using the one-minute timer, and even my husband is talking about his day for one minute. The kids are hearing more from him and listening to each other. My youngest, who has to fight for the floor, will go and get to the timer, and even if he gives it to his brother first, he knows his time is coming.
We are also using the timers for play. When my husband gets home, each of the kids fight for his attention. We use a two-minute timer for each of them to play with him right when he gets home. My daughter brings her volleyball, my boys bring a baseball or football, or their latest Lego train and although it sounds silly, they rotate in as it is their turn and that little of piece of time seems to matter. We are fighting for the moments and for us, they only happen if we can make it sustainable. Timers are setting boundaries and within the boundaries are pieces of time the kids can claim as theirs.
This idea is working for us. I hope it might work for you too as you choose the big rocks which can get lost in the shuffle if we don’t fight for them.
HLLF, Kirstin
