Ok here is the deal. There are probably only a few things you can control this Easter. Your kids may not sleep the night before; if you try to manage their sugar intake you are going to be miserable; holiday weekends can be a touch of crazy-town. But one thing you can choose is to be nice. Be nice because you are nice.
Could you actually get to the spot where you can be genuinely nice to the people at your Easter celebration this weekend? I believe you can. Here are a few steps that might help:
1) Mentally prepare
2) Meet them where they are at
3) Choose grace
Mentally prepare. Take a little time before the day starts to mentally enter into the place where your relatives will be coming from.
My mother always says, “Well, that’s just where they are at.” There is a lot of grace that comes from that place.
If there have been some tricky places for your family to navigate lately, enter Easter seeing that, and thinking through what it feels like to be in each person’s shoes. What if you were the one whose marriage was in a tricky spot or whose kids might not be doing so well? What if you were the one longing to be pregnant as you watch cute toddlers in their Easter dresses running through the yard? By entering into those uncomfortable spots, I feel more grace for those stuck in the difficult places. I may not feel exactly what they are feeling, but I can give them more genuine kindness than I otherwise would have thought to give.
Enter in and consider what it may be like to be the person on the fringe: what it is like to be the person who barely knows anyone in the room or is coming from a place of painful loss. When I enter in I remember to go out of my way to include them in the fun.
Enter into the place of your kids who understand none of the dynamics but are ready for a day full of fun planned for them. When I enter in I can be prepared for them.
As you picture yourself in the shoes of your relatives entering in that day, choose to forget the backstory. Yes, that is more than they deserve. Do it anyway. Walk in their shoes for a few moments.
Okay, now put on your big girl pants and get ready to dole out all of the grace you can find. It will lead you towards kindness and at minimum you’ll end up at nice. You may not be able to master complete Easter bliss, but if you start with a little more understanding, it will be easier to be nice. It may give you what you need to make it through the day. You may even find it is a nicer way to live.
