This is a clip from the Facebook post that I wrote on December 1st, 2015, on the morning before we headed into the hospital to deliver our fourth, Teddy.
Today is our c-section day. This has been a journey in God’s faithfulness. As many of you poured your hearts out in prayer for our Samantha just over two years ago, watching God’s miracle in her life, never again did I think I would be able to step foot in this hospital, let alone without angst and in anticipation of meeting our fourth little one.
We always felt that four was our number, God’s plan for us, but quickly shut that door in fear after Samantha’s heart failure. Earlier this year, we started to wonder, but again turned the other way. As we processed through it, we felt God saying, “Do you not trust Me?”Selfishly, I didn’t know if I could go through the emotions again. The uncertainty since we still don’t know what happened to cause Sammie’s crash, just simply walking into the hospital doors would be a step of faith mentally as I couldn’t look at the backside of that hospital for a long time. My heart still felt freshly damaged.
I couldn’t, but We could.
So we will walk into the hospital today without fear, not because we forgot, not because we take any of His blessings for granted, but with confidence because we will choose to trust that God’s loving kindness endures forever no matter what today or any day may bring.
Here we go. Headed in with the bravest man I know, confidently, because God’s faithful love endures forever.
(end of Facebook post)
The journey of that pregnancy included many doctor visits, tracing Teddy’s veins looking for potential problems. That year felt like walking back into the fiery furnace. God taught me to follow Him into the fire and stand firm. To proceed with Him and to face my biggest fears. This is the year where God taught me to proceed as a “We,” me and Him forever. I call it the “us life,” never alone, never abandoned, life with God, forever.
This was the second year in the journey where Jesus became everything to me.
HLLF, @kirstinricketts
