My son Henry wouldn’t eat his yogurt yesterday because it was grape flavor and not strawberry. Oh, grocery store, why do you do this to me? If we want two different flavors, we will purchase two packages.
When I was his age strawberry was paired with peach. Ugh, I would hate it when there were only peach yogurts left in the refrigerator. As I picked up around the kitchen, I hinted to him, in my most reasonable mom voice, that sometimes we may need to do uncomfortable things. (Please tell me some of you have this same battle.) Ultimately he did not want to yield to my plan.
I turned the lights out in the kitchen, except one over his head, leaving him alone at the table like he was a criminal in prison being interrogated. After sitting in the kitchen for a few moments, I heard Henry set the empty container on the table. He felt remorse when he realized what a silly and dramatic stance he had taken. I began to wonder, “What am I throwing out because it’s uncomfortable?” “What am I choosing not to do because it’s not my favorite thing?” “What dramatic stance am I taking that, given a little time under the light, I would be able to take a breath and choose differently?”
The heroes of the Bible waited decades to see God’s promises take shape. They moved to foreign lands, left behind the people they knew, and lived in discomfort. When life gets uncomfortable, or when I’m experiencing something that isn’t my favorite, do I toss it aside? Am I willing to proceed when maybe it wouldn’t be my first choice because I long to see the promises of my God fulfilled?
The free life is that…it’s free, exhilarating and exciting. It has brought deep fulfillment to my soul. But there are times when I question God’s plan. When I sit alone in a doctors office, waiting…knowing that surely God is in this place, but acknowledging that I don’t see Him very clearly right now. As I look around, I will choose to walk this path, although I am uncomfortable with where it may be leading. I will plod ahead, even when my heart doesn’t feel it, with eyes that are determined to see. I’ve changed my phone background, written reminders on my hands, and pleaded in my journal…surely God must be in this place but I am unaware.
Sometimes, God gives you the opportunity to claim His truth, and it can feel like driving a stake into the sand. Sometimes it can even be scrapping my plan and choosing His. Yielding to my God, praising Him even before the results of the current situation come through.
The strawberry days will come again and sitting under the light, with eyes determined to see, God will speak to me, and He will speak to you. Psalm 9:10, “you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you.” That is not a question, that is a statement. Let’s claim what we know to be true, even if it may seem like very little, then wait and listen. Let’s plod forward, taking small steps in the direction we know we want to go. Let’s read and seek and pray and create the space. Our souls need His nutrition, and we can choose to live like the prophets of old, waiting to see His plan fulfilled.
This is the free life. One step at a time, no matter what life may throw my way, yielding to the One who knows; with eyes up and heart open, consistently beginning again.
This is the free life. This is the life I never knew I always wanted.
