Last summer, my neighbor was planting strawberries and had some extras. She brought them over, and I felt bad turning them down. We had six ideally suited garden beds, and I didn’t have any seemingly good excuse to refuse them. She said, “Anyone can keep strawberries alive.” Even as I planted them, I was a little disgruntled about it. I put them in the ground, watered them once, and forgot about them. They went entirely off my radar, and I forgot they existed. The strawberries died because I never watered them again. I know they could have been cute, and delicious, and it sounds picture perfect…but that yes wasn’t for me.
What are you saying yes to that may be a good thing, but isn’t for you? I didn’t have room for strawberries in my life, so my yes to my neighbor cluttered my life with something that wasn’t for me. It wasn’t fair to me to say yes, and it wasn’t fair to my neighbor who could have given them to someone else. It wasn’t even fair to the little strawberries.
What could you trim out of your life? Are there activities that you are involved in, but they really aren’t for you? Are there things you do that you are doing just because you always have?
About six years ago, my husband encouraged me to take a year of no. Encouraged may be a gentle way of saying it…it may have been more of a proclamation. I was on the brink with three young kids. Working, volunteering, and leading where I wasn’t meant to lead but just always had. He said, “Say no to everything for a year.” So I did, and in that year of no’s, I began to find my yes’s. It took a year, but it broke the pattern of yes to every strawberry.
Now, I do have to be careful and reset at times. This year there are a couple of yes’s that I won’t do again. But I know what they are and I’m prepared to say no when it’s responsible. Sometimes we don’t know what should have been a no until we find ourselves in the middle of the yes. Let the strawberries die, and don’t plant them next time around.
Your no’s leave room for your yes’s. I didn’t have room for God because my follow of Him was cluttered by strawberries. Declutter. Stop watering the strawberries that you don’t want to give your time to anymore. Dig some things up, begin again.
No one can say no but you. Claim your freedom. It’s okay to admit you need a reset. You will fall off the lists of some charity dinners, but after a year, people will get more comfortable with your no, and you will too. There will not be room for your heart to sing unless you make the space. Once you start saying yes only to your yes’s, you will see the freeing power of your no.
HLLF,
