Mommas, we are awesome at getting our kiddos prepared for school. We buy the right pencils, the right blue pencil box, glue sticks… everything on the pre-approved and needed list. Then we shoo them out of the house with a “listen well,” or a “be good!” But to a kid, what does that even mean? I think that we have expectations of what we want our kids to act like once they get to their classrooms but have we given them clarity on exactly what this looks like?
One thing I believe to be true is that we can’t expect who we guide (our children, employees, students) to meet our expectations if we don’t first adequately lay out what those expectations are. We can’t expect certain actions without specific coaching.
With my kiddos, I have changed my fumbled wording of “be good!” or “you need to listen!” to something with much more direction. I tell my people to “SOAK it up.”
What in the world, Melissa?
Well, that is an acronym for four virtues I have found to simplify what I want my kids to display when they are in the classroom. I adopted these virtues from the Classical Conversations curriculum and have used this approach over the past year. It is amazingly simple and helpful!
I have found that in every situation where their behavior is a little off whack, I can refer them back to one of these four virtues to keep them on track.
The virtue is first, followed by the action step for application.
Self-Control
“I choose to be self-controlled. I will make myself do the right thing. I will not be wild or rowdy, and I won’t let others control me!”
Obedience
“I choose to be obedient. Ok! Whatever you say, I will obey right away. I will not be argumentative, unwilling, or slow, and I won’t refuse to do what I’m told!”
Attentiveness
“I choose to be attentive. I will watch and listen carefully. I will not be not forgetful, distracted, or distracting, and I won’t ignore or interrupt!”
Kindness
“I choose to be kind. I will treat others the way I like to be treated. I will not be selfish, sarcastic, or rude, and I won’t hurt others on purpose!”
You might find these virtues helpful as a guide or conversation starter as your kiddos start up another year. SOAK is also a simple reminder for myself. We all want kids of character, and stressing these virtues will hopefully provide clarity in messaging for your kids on what’s most important to you. Have a great year! HLLF – Melissa
