When days are long and cluttered with so many things, I must choose to stop and remember what it is like to be present. What does it mean to show up for my life today?
As I consider that question, I look over at the four sets of eyes that are looking to me to be mom. Reflecting back at me in those eyes I see that the most important things I do today may be to toss the football with Graham, bake cookies with Samantha, read to Henry, and chase Teddy around the room with the threat of a giant wrestling match at the end.
I am the only mom they get today and every day. So as the day fills with all of the things, I must remember to be present in each moment, to look for ways to connect with them as these years where they desire to connect with me are fleeting, and the rest of our relationship will be built upon what was poured in during these days.
So I must choose to hold loosely to my plans for what needs to get done today and set apart time for each of these sets of eyes that look up at me. This isn’t my strong suit, but I will fight for it. I will plead with my God to allow me to see the opportunities and spaces to make these moments building blocks that we will stand on later.
Below are my best practices for being present:
- Create a morning or evening routine to give yourself a little space so that when your kids are awake, you have had some time to yourself.
- Consider your capacity, and prepare for the times that are most important to you. If the most important time is when we are all at home after work and school, then I can’t cram my schedule right up until the moment we are all together, because I need to be mentally ready to give that time my best.
- Find what soothes you. I find when things get wild at home, if I sit and read sheet music at my piano for even a few minutes it clears my head and helps me to reconnect. You may sip a cup of coffee, or chop vegetables…whatever allows you to place your focus on one simple thing.
- Leave your phone on the charger so it doesn’t capture your focus.
- Set a ten minute timer (without mentioning it) and ask your child what they want to play. A specific time block helps me to be fully present. I can play make believe for ten mins at a time, but it might be difficult to sustain all afternoon.
- Hold your child’s hand when you are walking whenever possible. It connects you physically to where you would like your attention to be placed.
- Intentionally choose where and with whom you spend your time. Don’t devote free time to spaces that aren’t life-giving.
- Listen to a 5 minute mindfulness meditation to clear the noise.
- Breathe. Take a deep breath, feel the air, intentionally direct your attention.
- Ask God to give you passion for the present. If you are at the end of your rope, ask God for capacity.
We can miss the life that is happening right in front of our eyes if we don’t choose to show up to our most important moments. We can be physically there and mentally in an entirely different place. Show up for your life. You will be happy you did.
